| | 24 letters relate to attitude - family... | Excerpt length: shorter longer | |
| Letter from Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh
(3 June 1883)
... one
could not expect anything else.
But coming from Father and Mother, who ought to be humble
and contented with simple things, I think their speaking that
way very wicked, and I feel something like shame at their
behaviour.
I wish we only strove for peace in our homes, and stinted
ourselves rather than strain after a high position. And used
our energy to increase our spiritual refinement and humaneness,
but were contented with the most simple things as a matter of
principle.
So I regret it, and it grieves me; again, I am horribly
disappointed at Father and Mother saying such a thing.
I should be willing to do anything to undo this.
I should like to be proud of Father, because he is truly a
poor village preacher in the pure sense of the Gospel, but I
think it so rotten that Father stoops to such considerations as
something not being in keeping with “the dignity of his
calling.”
My opinion is that one might expect Father to co-operate as
... | Letter from Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh
(c. 7-8 December 1883)
... take how it looks into
consideration.
I tell you frankly that more and more I think the spirit
prevailing in our family, especially in Father, and for
instance in C.M. is wrong.
With regard to you my position is like this:
On the one hand I believe there is yet a possibility of your
character, like mine, repudiating many things we have been
taught - aye, I say it is possible that a revulsion of feeling
will come about in your mind, either gradually or suddenly, and
that this will force you to adopt a new conception of life,
which perhaps will finally result in your becoming a
painter.
On the other hand, in sharp contrast to this, there is, for
instance, your saying last summer, “I am getting more and
more like Father.”
If this were true - that is to say, if you were to become
more and more a “Van Gogh,” a character like Father
or C.M. and if by always being in business you should acquire a
conception of life entirely different from... | Letter from Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh
(c. 17 December 1883)
... dog, accept them for
what they are.
This house is also too good for me, and Father and Mother
and the family are so exceedingly refined (though not sensitive
underneath), and - and - there are clergymen, lots of
clergymen.
The dog appreciates that if they do keep him, they are only
putting up with him, only just tolerating his presence
“in this house,” so he will try to track down a
kennel elsewhere.
In fact this dog used to be Father's son once upon a time,
and it was Father who left him out in the streets a little too
long, so he was bound to become rougher, but seeing that Father
forgot this many years ago and has never thought deeply
about what the bond between father and son means, we had best
say nothing about it.
And then - the dog could easily bite - he could easily
become rabid - and the village policeman would have to come
round and shoot him.
Oh yes, all that is perfectly true, no doubt about it.
On the other hand, dogs... | Letter from Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh
(c. 21 March 1884)
... stupid to go
on in this way, stupid!
When I read over the letters you've sent me recently, I see
in them that you exert yourself to make it look as though I am
the one to blame if we part company.
This is such a dear little Van Goghish trick, such a nice
bit of self-righteousness; for my part I shall not grudge you
it if it means something to you. Father would do the same. I
know for myself what I have felt during the past year, and what
my thoughts are about our friendship - as it is now -
unbearable.
Whatever may be thought about whether I do right or wrong in
speaking as I do, at any rate I'm the one who's taking a
chance. Theo, it is more convenient for you to be
completely rid of me - personally, if I break with you,
especially in financial matters, I have absolutely nothing
else, and such a way of doing things is the opposite of the
usual tactics of Messrs. Van Gogh & Co.
Take this in whatever way you like
———... | Letter from Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh
(late November 1884)
... my soul in
patience, as they say.
At home - even though there are no rows - they do not think
the prospect of my staying here too long very cheerful.
Which I can well understand.
And yet I cannot go away - either leaving completely or
partly (by “partly” I mean keeping on my studio,
which is my intention) - unless I go on making a lot of studies
and find something new by way of security in Antwerp.
Be so kind as to take this into consideration. And if you
should be willing to do your best on the financial side, so
that things will be somewhat easier for me, I believe there
will be a chance of keeping the peace in the future, though it
will be far from real harmony.
Which I wish for myself as well as for others, this
composure I mean. With regard to my work you say what is not
there may turn up yet - and I say the same about the fata
morgana in your saying “later on…we shall perhaps,
etc.” - (see above).
At present... |
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